Watching Your Own Videos — Without Cringing

Watching yourself on video can feel like a special kind of torture—like public speaking coaching gone rogue.

I get it.

Back in 2003, when I was working as a corporate trainer at Potbelly Sandwich Shop, my boss, Sean, handed me a recording of myself leading a training session and asked me to watch it to improve. I almost put in for a transfer to the Accounting Department on the spot.

Brutal.

Every gesture felt awkward. Every pause dragged on. And don’t even get me started on the sound of my voice (do I really sound like that?). Halfway through, I wanted to turn it off and crawl into the cooler where we stored the giardiniera hot peppers.

But something else happened that same week.

While rehearsing for a sketch comedy show (yes — I was moonlighting as a wannabe SNL actor/writer), I was listening to show director give feedback. That’s when it hit me—directors don’t judge performers the way we judge ourselves.

Directors don’t criticize—they assess.

They’re not nitpicking every imperfection; they’re focusing on what connects. They ask:

• What’s working?
• What needs a tweak?
• How can we elevate this moment to its full potential?

That realization changed everything for me.

I stopped watching myself like a ruthless critic and started watching like a director.

Instead of nitpicking how I looked or sounded, I started asking:

• Does the story land?
• Does my movement support my message?
• Am I following my golden rule: ABC (Always Be Connecting)?

This shift unlocked massive growth. It’s amazing how much easier it is to improve when you trade “cringe mode” for “director mode.”

Instead of tearing yourself apart, you start spotting small adjustments that lead to big wins. You learn to focus on connection—not perfection.

I call this mindset shift The Director’s Chair.

If you’re working on your public speaking skills and you’ve ever wished you could watch yourself without the self-judgment, this is the trick. It’s a concept I explore further in my new book, Make A Scene: Storytelling, Stage Presence, and The Art of Being Unforgettable in Every Spotlight.

But here’s the truth: sometimes you need real-time feedback and expert coaching to uncover those opportunities for growth.

That’s why I created two experiences designed to take your presence, storytelling, and connection to unforgettable heights:

• VIP Days in NYC this March
• A June Retreat in NYC

During these sessions, we’ll dive deep into your public speaking performance. You’ll walk away with personalized strategies, actionable insights, and tools to step confidently into any spotlight—whether you’re giving a keynote, leading a workshop, or showing up on video.

If this resonates, I’d love to work with you. Spots are limited, so don’t wait—reach out to secure your spot.

And if you’re ready to explore The Director’s Chair approach on your own, grab a copy of Make A Scene today.

Here’s to owning your spotlight,
Mike